I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I had this huge fight with Carl and coz he makes me feel so inadequate and useless. The only time I feel like I remotely belong anywhere is when I'm with Matt and today he made me feel like an absolute stranger. He says he doesn't know me well enough to know how to make me feel better but it's bull shit. I think he knows me pretty damn well. And even if he doesn't, he's not gonna get anywhere by not trying.

I don't mean to put him down coz he has been really great to me. I'm just hurt and I feel really alone. The nice thing about having a boyfriend is having somewhere to turn; I am at a dead end.

I miss having someone who will tell me that everything's gonna be alright, even if all circumstances point toward the opposite. Someone who you can just sit with and say nothing and still feel so connected. Someone who doesn't have to know what's wrong, they'll just hug you purely for the sake of caring.

I miss Jo.