It's Matthew's birthday tomorrow. Actually, before i start writing I'd like to appologise in advance for my terrible spelling etc.; it is purely because i am typing at a keyboard which is unfamiliar to my finger tips.

I'm really worried that he won't like his presents. I've lost my touch.. I used to be so good at planning presents and making them special. Now I'm just a regular gift giver. How boring.

We all went away this past weekend. It was really great. We literally just chilled around doing nothing. It was just what I needed. And I got to spend some alone time with my baby. I let him see me in the underwear set Andy gave me for Christmas. I don't know why but I feel really comfortable with him, comfortable about myself. Which is strange because I've been with guys who have tried constantly to reassure me that they find me attractive, but with Matt it's almost like he doesn't have to. I don't feel as insecure as I used to, or as self-conscious. Although, maybe I'm just growing up.

I'm really tired.

YAWN.

But I'm waiting for this bloody Yahoo Messenger to download and it's taking for bloody ever.

I'm going to have a cigarette and write again later.