I don't know what's wrong with me. I have wonderful friends, a wonderful family, a wonderful man and I still feel horrid. It feels like my core is empty. The last time (perhaps the only time) I remember feeling whole was in Scottbourgh with Paul. I'm falling for Matthew much faster than I ever did with Paul but I don't feel anywhere near complete. Or even on any remote path towards completion.
I'm beginning to believe that I am just a very weak person. I will never find the answers I am looking for. I don't think I'd even know where to start searching. My search seems to always be set aside for other insignificant things, which I have convinced myself are priorities.
Adam Duritz is looking for a way to put his feet out in the world. I am trying to find my feet.
Life is changing and I'm not changing with it.