Glycerine

This movie is tearing me to pieces. I really think it's going to be something special when it's finished, but there are some issues that are seriously taking toll on my moral judgement.

Although I have learnt three things in the making:

1. I have great respect for actors. It's not as easy a job as I thought. It's not just pretending to be somebody else, it's a learning process that takes immense psychological, physical and emotional strength. I am not cut out for this job.

2. Film-making is not the creative medium it swears to be. I feel drained, depressed and altogether fed up. And we're still only shooting the bloody thing. The blood, sweat and tears (I literally doubt I have any fluids left in my presently fragile body) it takes to make a film don't strike me as relative to the finished product.

3. I want to study psychology, sociology and human behaviour while rendering sketches, paintings and running an orphanage. Film, or at least the making of, is most undeniably not for me.

Belated Apology

On Tuesday night I did a horrible thing. I used somebody very special in a very selfish way. I don't want to compile excuses because I know what I did was wrong. I knew it then and I know it now. All I can say is that when I win the award for best actress, I owe it all to you.

Gwizz, Gstring, Gthanks - G5!

So I'm driving home on a regular Wednesday morning, dodging traffic, listening to music. I arrive home and open the garage door. I park my car and remove myself from it. I lock the door. I decide that since my mother's car is blocking the entrance to the front door, I'll go through the courtyard. I do. I walk into my room. My mother sees me and immediately kicks me out. She forces me to go back the way I'd come and enter the front door. I ring the bell. She opens the door. And there it is...

It was like one of those movies where light rays fall down upon the object and angelic music plays from nowhere. My very own iMac G5.

I haven't stopped playing with it all day. You see, for all you uneducated PC users out there, Macs just work. Three cables and you're set. No need for speakers and drivers and and thises and thats. Everything in tact. What a beauty. I'd marry it if it were legal.

Crash

Things on the work front have slowed down recently. I know it's the calm before the storm because I start shooting next Monday, but the break is appreciated nevertheless.

A film hasn't affected me as much as Crash for a really long time. I spent the whole night last night crying about it. I know that they were fictional characters but the story was so well executed, it was almost too real. I urge everyone who reads this blog to go see it. And I hope nobody mistakes the theme of miscommunication with racism.