Glycerine

This movie is tearing me to pieces. I really think it's going to be something special when it's finished, but there are some issues that are seriously taking toll on my moral judgement.

Although I have learnt three things in the making:

1. I have great respect for actors. It's not as easy a job as I thought. It's not just pretending to be somebody else, it's a learning process that takes immense psychological, physical and emotional strength. I am not cut out for this job.

2. Film-making is not the creative medium it swears to be. I feel drained, depressed and altogether fed up. And we're still only shooting the bloody thing. The blood, sweat and tears (I literally doubt I have any fluids left in my presently fragile body) it takes to make a film don't strike me as relative to the finished product.

3. I want to study psychology, sociology and human behaviour while rendering sketches, paintings and running an orphanage. Film, or at least the making of, is most undeniably not for me.